Tuesday, November 4, 2014

A little about me...

First things first...I am in no way a great writer or grammatical person. So bare with me :)...(*MOM, I'm talking to you;))

A little about my journey with my body and eating habits...

Ever since I can remember I have been involved with dance and sports.  Worrying about what I ate RARELY came into play.  I was always on the move.  Going to this practice and that.  Going to this performance, that track meet or swim meet. 

When I got to college, I had a bit of a reality check.  Mac N' Cheese every night.  Bagel bites.  The weight started to pack on quickly the first semester.  Luckily, I had a wonderful roommate and health freak who whipped us back into shape.  She was always a role model for me when it came it eating.  Throughout the rest of college I had more and more health nuts come into my life.  I was always aware of what I was eating and "trying" to eat healthy.  Again, I was always on the move with dance team and exercising with my roomies.  

After college I moved into an apartment with my boyfriend (now husband) and let myself gooooooo.  I am a comfort food freak.  I love pizza, pasta, casseroles..pretty much anything that's warm with cheese and carbs!  I was new to cooking for two.  Like my mother...I cook for an army! We would just eat until uncomfortably full.  I started to notice my pants getting a little tighter so I thought I'd do something about it.  I started working out normally again and started counting calories.  I became obsessive with counting.  It did help and I did lose weight, but I got burnt out very quickly.  I gave up.  As you continue to read...you will see this phrase a lot.  "I gave up." Again, starting eating whatever I wanted, ran here and there.  And again, my pants got tighter and so I thought I'd take a different route.  I wanted to try the Advocare 24 Day Challenge.  I had heard so many great things about people losing weight, inches, feeling so much better energy wise.  I conned my husband into it and he was all aboard.  We were all in.  Did so well for about 14-15 days.  Then caved.  Got pizza and all went downhill.  I gave up.  

The pattern continued... for the next couple of years.  I always found the next fad diet and tried it and gave up.  Don't get me wrong...I am VERY knowledgable when it comes to food and eating.  I've educating myself a lot! I just have no self control.  No commitment to changing myself.  I always try for a couple of weeks and fail..Give up....

Fast forward to today... The last few months I haven't even wanted to take pictures because I was really noticing the weight I'd gained.

There was a final straw.  These two pictures....

These pictures are normal everyday pictures (Minnie was Halloween). But to me... these pictures both showed how much I had gained and I couldn't stop thinking about how unhappy I felt looking at them. 

A friend asked me a couple months ago if I wanted to do a 24 Day Challenge and I said no because I was just starting an 8 week challenge at Kosama.  Well, after 8 weeks at Kosama with great workouts and crappy eating I gained weight..yet again.  On Sunday I sat down and began my meal planning for the week (yes, I plan out meals...do I always follow through? Absolutely not..that's why I'm in this situation).  I kind of started to break down.  Thinking about all the things I had done and gave up on...every. single. time.  I thought about the friend who asked me to do the 24DC and thought I'd just text her about it.  It just so happened that she was starting a group challenge the next day.  After much thought I decided I wanted to do it.  BUT, in the back of my mind I just kept thinking about how long I'd do it this time until I failed.  I NEEDED some way of being accountable. I asked my mom if she would help me..of course she said yes.  I asked my husband if he would help me..of course he said yes. Yet, I kept thinking..they both have helped me before and I have failed time after time.  This time was going to be different.  I told them both they had to help me be ACCOUNTABLE..that means being my cheerleader, support system and punisher to make me feel guilty if I start wavering from the plan.

This time it is going to be different! I decided not only do I want my family supporting me and encouraging me, but I am going to let all the people in my life know.  That way no matter where I am, I have someone who is there to support me and help me!! That is why I started this blog.  I have somewhere to put my thoughts and share it with everyone that is going on this journey with me!  Thank you for taking a look and I hope you come back to read about how my journey is going!!!

P.S. I promise not every post will be a novel like this one :)

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